I Wasn’t Ready For This…

Hi everybody. Well, today is a big day. It’s my little girl’s birthday. I guess she’s not little anymore though because today at 2:09 p.m., she will turn 13. Even as I type this, I want to cry. Don’t get me wrong. I am so happy that she’s grown into a beautiful young lady. I know how lucky I am that she is healthy because there are so many others that aren’t. And even more that don’t make it to see their teenage years. So I am very grateful. And proud. 

I am so proud of her. She has been through a lot. The divorce of her father and myself, my remarriage, gaining a step father and step sister, switching schools, and coping with dyslexia. But through it all, she has been trying to be strong and move forward. And it has not been easy. But she’s keeping her head held high. 

I worked a lot when she was a baby and as a toddler and even though I was home every night, I feel like I missed out on so many things. Things and times that I can’t get back. But on the other hand, I was there for several wonderful moments that I will carry with me forever. 

Like when I came home from work and she would run to me and give me the biggest hug that her little arms could make. Or when she would wait all day to watch her favorite movie at the time, Peter Pan (the 2003 film), until I came in the door and we watched it at least 3 times a day for like 3 months straight.  And of course, there was story time, hearing her first word, bath time, watching her learn to walk, and teaching her to ride a bike. 

There were a lot of great times and even better memories. But even so, I am not ready for this. I am not ready for her to be, dare I say it, a *gulp* teenager…

She rolls her eyes and simply groans, “Mom…..” every time I get emotional about her continual advance in age. But I can’t help it. She’s my little girl. My first born. My monkey. And I can’t help but get teary eyed every time I think about how much she’s grown, every time I look at her baby pictures, or watch the hours and hours of videos that I have taken of her over the years. 

Maybe I’m just being crazy or silly but I’m sure I’m not the only parent to feel this way right? I’m not the only parent that wonders how in the world their baby got to be in their teens almost over night. How did my little girl go from this  

    
    
 
  to this so fast?  

   
I don’t know how it happened and I am so NOT ready for this but no matter what or how old she gets, she will always be my little girl. Happy birthday. I love you Hailey Grace. 

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